as abnormal emotional intensity?
I feel as if I experience emotions at a stronger intensity than do other people. This is why I use so many superlatives when I’m trying to explain something, and why I feel as if my vocabulary is stuck at a middle school/high school level. Whether it’s something I’m vocally telling someone, or something I’m trying to explain through writing, I repeat superlatives over and over again, as if, somehow, this will get the other person to understand exactly how awesome something is or was.
My best friend in middle school and freshman year of high school used to make fun of me because I would always explain things in the same order. I would begin by describing the event or emotional state, then I would always say, “You don’t understand!”, then I would repeat what I had originally explained but which I was sure she was not getting because there was no way I could explain the intensity of the emotions.
I’m positive this is the case. People just don’t experience life at the same level I do. This probably just makes them that much smarter than me. No matter what it is, whether it’s a feeling, something new I’ve learned that I’m excited about, a place, a person, an object, whatever it is, I can never seem to convey how much it means to me. I’ve tried with family and friends, and, while they do understand something of what I’m trying to say, exactly how much that thing means to me never seems to get across.
I love life, and I go through it excited about everything. Not a lot of people seem to do this, and I don’t understand how they can be so unexcited about life. It’s life! There’s so, so much to see, learn, do. So many amazing people to meet and talk to. So many things to experience. How is this not incredibly exciting?? Especially when it comes to learning new things. Wow. How do people not want to sit down and learn everything from every subject there is? (Well, maybe not math, but you get the point!) Just sit down for a second and think about the universe. Or google it if you don’t know. Think about time and distance, and how inconceivable the whole of time and space is. How does that not blow your mind?
I was sitting here explaining the concept of color to my parents yesterday. Things, apparently, don’t have color. Starting from the two main premises, white light from the sun contains all wavelengths of visible light (which just means that light from the sun contains all colors of the rainbow since different wavelengths of light are responsible for the different colors), and all objects both absorb and reflect light. In order for your brain to process an image, that image has to reflect light, and, in our world, that light comes from either the sun or an artificial source of light like a lamp. Now, while the sun’s light contains all wavelengths of visible light, objects usually do not reflect all wavelengths, and what color or colors an object reflects is the color that your eyes see and your brain processes. So, if you see a green leaf, the only reason you see that leaf as having the color green is because it absorbs every other wavelength of visible light (every other color), and only reflects back the color green. Thus, your eyes see the color green and your brain processes that as a green leaf.
Tell me that is not the coolest, awesomest, most bizarre thing ever? I told my parents this, and they did think it was cool, but then they were like, okay, that’s too much thinking, let’s get back to the movie now. And yes, while this might have been because I was vocally trying to take this to its logical conclusion (“Does this mean that nothing truly has color? What about dyes? How do dyes work? Nature kind of makes sense (kind of!), but how do you get something to only reflect a specific color all the time? How does this actually work?!), it still bugged me that they only thought it was cool for a little while and then didn’t want to discuss it. I’m still thinking about it!